Eddie had
one more signature still to get. One more, then he could go back to the office
and tell Grace to shut her stupid anorexic face because he’d got fifty
signatures pledging to vote to keep Clive Adamson MP in his seat. Grace had got
forty yesterday and had come back to the office at seven minutes to five to
gales of applause from the idiots who thought she was brilliant because she tall,
blonde, and his superiors struggled to look her in the eye. But he knew that it
wasn’t about looks. They’d get you so far, yeah, but it was about character. Image,
appearance wasn’t everything. He could turn on the smile if he had to, but it
wasn’t about that. It was about convincing the voters that their man was the
right man for the job. Because he had something that Grace didn’t have. He
believed in what he was doing. You don’t just believe in the party, you believe
in yourself. Now he just had to get one more.
He pulled
over to the side of the road and looked at the house opposite. Looked OK from
the outside. No obvious commitment to any party. Which meant that they were
fair game. He straightened his tie (party colours, obviously), checked his hair
in the rear view mirror, and spat his half-finished polo mint into the ashtray.
Couldn’t be seen to be eating in front of the voters. He checked his jacket
pockets and his clipboard to be sure he had all the correct literature with him
and walked briskly (but not hurriedly) across the road and up to the front
door.
He pressed
the doorbell once, holding it for as close to a second as he could make it. You
didn’t want to seem insistent but you didn’t want it to seem like you were just
going to go away either. Which is why he waited for thirty seconds and then
pressed it for a further second. He heard footsteps approaching and readied his
best smile.
What were they bothering her with
this time? She never had anything to give these people, these people who came
to the door and gave her grief about God or Jesus or bloody make-up. She
supposed she should just let them ring the bell until they got sick of it and
went away but Terence would never have stood for it. Terence would fling wide
the door and tell them to stop bloody bothering them, to leave them alone and
never come back. She didn’t have the nerve to do that. She could tell them that
she wasn’t interested though. Tommy would be wanting his dinner soon and she
hadn’t got anything ready.
She pulled the net curtain open just
a little, which was a mistake as the chap saw her. He knew she was in. Gave a
grin that Terence would have called shit-eating, though she wouldn’t have used
such language, not in front of strangers anyway. Then again, she hadn’t talked
to anyone at all really, not for a few years now. Oh well. Might as well see
what this grinning loon wants. The sooner she did the sooner she’d be rid of
him.
He saw the
net curtain flicker and he flashed his teeth at her. Sure enough, the front
door opened, just like he knew it would. The woman standing before him couldn’t
have had many years past forty but she seemed much older somehow. She was
hunched to the point where her eyes seemed to be nearly level with her
shoulders. Her hand shook on the door. Her greying dark hair was decidedly
unkempt. Eddie suddenly registered all the closed curtains, matched by the
musty smell that wafted out of the house like it was trying to escape. This woman
was clearly a shut-in. Someone who wouldn’t leave the house if it was on fire.
Someone like this wouldn’t get out of the house to vote. There was a moment of
self-doubt, but only a moment. What a story this would make, if he could get
this agoraphobic lunatic to vote. Anyway, even she didn’t get out, he thought,
that’s what the postal ballot is for.
“Hello,
Madam,” he began before she could ask what he wanted, “my name is Edward Clackett
and I’m out here today on behalf of Clive Adamson, your local MP. Can I ask,
have you decided how you’re going to vote in the election next week?”
As he
suspected, the woman looked utterly confused. He knew she was going to say no
before her mouth started trying to form a word.
“Could I
possibly come in? I have some literature here that might help you decide one
way or the other.”
And with a
gentle but forceful push, he was inside. You don’t want to seem threatening
when you’re making your way into someone’s house but you want them to know that
you are going to get into their living room so they might as well put the
kettle on.
What was he doing? What was he
talking about? She hadn’t voted in years, not since Terence died. After he
passed there didn’t seem to be any point to it. So what was the oily, grinning man-child
doing forcing his way into her home? She didn’t like this. She didn’t like this
at all.
She looked
skittish, which worried Eddie. It had been easy enough to get inside but if she
started panicking it was game over. And then the story wouldn’t be about how he
convinced a mad shut-in that voting for Clive Adamson MP was the right thing to
do, it would be how he terrified a helpless old (but she wasn’t that old, not
that they’d care) woman who probably wasn’t in full possession of her
faculties. And that would be very bad indeed. So he needed to smooth things
over. He needed to correct the atmosphere, get her sitting down and get her
calm.
“Is it
alright if I take a seat?” he asked. He didn’t want to presume to do anything now;
he needed permission with someone this jumpy. There was an awkward pause but
finally she gave a tiny tremulous nod and he smiled and took a seat in a white
armchair which gave a quiet moan as he put his weight on it. There was a
further awkward pause during which it looked like she might not sit down and
just stand there staring at him, but finally she sat on the faded green sofa
opposite and stared at him from there. He needed an ice breaker. He looked
around the room for something banal and comforting to comment on. There it was.
A family photo. Her, apparently a hundred years ago, a man slightly older than
she was, and a young boy, about five years old.
“Is that
your family?” he asked. Stupid question, but stupid was often the best way to
start with these ones. She shifted in her seat, her top lip started to wobble.
Bollocks, he thought, maybe this wasn’t the best way to start.
“Yes,” she
said. “That’s me and my husband Terence, and our son Thomas. Terence…passed.
Some years back.”
A grieving
shut-in. He assumed his most contrite expression and leant forward. Just far
enough to make it clear that he wanted to comfort her but not far enough to
make her worried that he was actually going to touch her. She looked like she
didn’t want to be touched. A hand on the knee might draw screams.
“I’m so
sorry,” he told her. “It’s truly tragic to suffer a loss like that.” Truly
tragic. He couldn’t tell if that was good or bad but there was no room for
backtracking. He needed to be confident. Sincere. He paused a moment before
asking what he knew was a risky bloody question. “And your son?” He held his
breath and prayed that Tommy hadn’t been killed in some terrible fire with his
father.
What did he want? What was he asking
about her husband for, about Tommy? Slimy little shit. She needed to get rid of
him before Tommy came in for his dinner. She still had to get it ready, he
wouldn’t be at all happy if he came in to find nothing to eat and this salesman
on the sofa. Asking about voting, indeed. She’d just have to give him what he
wanted and get him out of here.
“Tommy’s
living at home now,” she told him. He gave what he hoped was a comforting grin.
“That’s
partly what I’m talking about, Mrs…” he left a pause for her to fill in her
last name but she didn’t say a word. That didn’t matter; she could put it on
the form when she signed the bloody thing. For now he would just carry on with
his patter. “The youth of today need to be sent the right message. They need to
know that there is someone who is looking out for them. In these uncertain
economic times a young man’s future can seem awfully desperate, awfully
unclear. Too many young people are simply drifting into a depressing void at
the moment, moving home and wondering what they can possibly do with
themselves. What Mr Adamson stands for is providing our young people with a
strong work ethic and the opportunity to put it to good use.”
He inched a
little closer to the edge of his seat, warming to his theme now.
“Because we
know, our party that is, we know that things haven’t been easy over the last
few years. But we’re determined that we can create a brighter future for the all
of us here in the UK. And that’s what’s really important, isn’t it? A brighter
future for kids like your Thomas. Our party is committed to your children and
giving them the lives they deserve. Tell me, madam. Who did you vote for in the
last election?”
He could certainly jabber on, this
strange little man. He’d even started sweating when he really got going. She’d
seen little flecks of spit flying from between his too-white teeth as he’d hit
the word ‘people’ and the ‘s’ in ‘Adamson’. But she didn’t have time for his
rambling. She had things to do, things to get ready. She didn’t have time for
this man at all.
“What is it
you want from me?” she asked, hoping that
this would cut right to the point. But he just shook his head and leaned back
in Terence’s armchair.
“It’s not
what we want from you, Madam. It’s what we can give you. Not just a brighter
future for your children but a brighter present for yourself too. Clive Adamson
is working tirelessly to help put an end to this terrible state of affairs
we’re in at the moment and if you would just sign our…” She nearly leapt to her
feet here, hoping for the opportunity to something, anything to get rid of him,
but instead he reached into his jacket and took out some leaflets.
“I have some
literature here, if you’d care to read it. Just some information and some testimonials
about Mr Adamson if you’d like to…”
“Give them
here,” she told him. He was surprised to see her so anxious to read them but he
didn’t question it. He handed them over and leaned back in his chair. He
thought about carrying on talking but thought maybe a bit of quiet would be
good, to let the importance of what she was reading really sink in. He turned
his head to his left and looked out of the window. He was too committed now. A
signature wasn’t going to be enough. He wasn’t going to be fobbed off with some
ink on a piece of paper. He wanted this woman convinced. He wanted her to be a
real party member. He wanted a fucking sticker in her window for when the
papers came so everyone could see just what he’d accomplished.
Not that a
sticker would be much use on this back window. The garden was much nicer than
he’d expected given the state of the house. A good-sized patch of grass,
bordered on all sides with well-kept flowerbeds, a small greenhouse, and what
he would have guessed was an oak tree standing tall near the end of the garden.
And there, up in the oak tree, was a good-sized tree house. Eddie had longed
for a tree house growing up and hadn’t seen one in years. He had assumed the
tradition had been lost when pre-teens had started getting iPhones for their
birthdays. But here was one, in the heart of his community, in the home of this
brave widowed woman who was preparing to commit herself to the right honourable
candidate. His candidate. It was perfect. Except…
There was a
glow coming from the oak tree that had nothing to do with the sunset. He could
see a small but definite flow of black smoke coming from the window of the tree
house. He got to his feet and hurried to the window. Yes, there was definitely
smoke. The tree house was on fire. He turned to the woman who was flicking
quickly through the descriptions of where you could find the party on social media.
She hadn’t noticed the fire. If he sorted this out the widow would have no
choice but to give them her vote, on account of his heroics. Perhaps even a
story in the paper.
“Mrs… your tree
house, it’s on fire!” he shouted, and ran to the back door, taking off his
jacket and flinging the door open in one fluid movement. He could hear her
shouting, probably telling him not to risk himself, or maybe asking him to
hurry, it didn’t matter. He was going to put this fire out and win her
allegiance.
She told him to stop. He didn’t
listen. Going running off to the tree house Terence had built when they’d first
been expecting. She didn’t go up there anymore.
Eddie scaled
the oak tree with an ease that surprised him, given how little he’d been able
to get to the gym recently. He was soon at the tree house door and ducked
inside. Sure enough, a small pile of paper had been set alight. Probably some
neighbourhood kids messing about, using the tree house without permission, kids
that should have been in school. He stamped out the fire; his shoe could take
the hit for the story. When he felt a sharp pain he assumed it was the heat,
and lifted his foot clear. As he did so, he looked down and saw that his heel
had been slashed. His foot stayed where it was, for the most part. Blood gushed
from a savage tear in his navy sock. He screamed and fell backwards.
Eddie fell through
the opening to the tree house and down to the ground, about twelve feet, landing
on his back. As he looked up he saw a dark shape emerge from the tree house,
jump, and land on its feet beside him. He wanted to scream but the air had been
knocked out of him by the fall. As it knelt down and brought its face closer to
Eddie’s, he saw who it was. The boy from the photo. A few years older, yes, and
his face blackened by smoke, but definitely him. He grinned. The teeth had been
sharpened into yellow points. Eddie now managed a scream, and the boy grabbed
his hair and dragged him over the grass back towards the house.
The back
door was still open. As Eddie was pulled inside his heel caught on the
doorstep, twisting and tearing, sending another jet of pain up his leg. The boy
pulled harder and got him inside, slamming the door behind him.
There was Tommy now. And he’d got the
stupid man. She didn’t enjoy what Tommy did and she’d tried explaining that he
shouldn’t do it. But if she was being honest, she wasn’t sorry to hear that man
scream.
He was
starting to lose awareness of what was happening to him. He was in the kitchen;
his head had bounced off a hob and was now resting on a linoleum floor. He
heard the slam of a drawer being yanked open and a clattering of silverware. He
heard the boy laughing. Then he wasn’t aware of anything except the pain in his
stomach.
So that was what he was doing for
dinner then. She needn’t have worried.
It took some
effort but Eddie managed to lift his head off the floor too look at what exactly
this boy was doing to him. All he could see was a mess of hair above a widening
patch of red around his belly. As his mouth dropped open, the boy lifted his
head to look back at Eddie. His face was glistening with dark red goo. He
flashed those sharpened teeth again. And between those teeth lay a rope of his
intestines, skewered on the boy’s fangs, which he was working furiously back
and forth. The boy’s grin widened as their eyes met, before he plunged his head
back into the messy soup of Eddie’s stomach. Eddie felt his reason depart as
the slurping started and let his head drop backwards.
Such a mess. Getting it everywhere.
What a mess, what a terrible mess.
Eddie’s head
fell to the right. Everything was becoming terribly blurry. But he could still
make out the slippered feet of the widow hurrying over, and see Clive Adamson’s
campaign literature used to move his blood and a few chunks of what he assumed
were his viscera into one neat puddle on the lino by his nose, before he felt a
hand reach up and under his ribcage and everything stopped.
--------------------------
Hello there. I hope you enjoyed this story. I hoped to have it up a bit sooner but things have been pretty hectic with the London Film Festival, which I'm covering for Cinetalk (find our coverage there).
This short story title comes from @scottywrotem and I really like it, I was buzzing with ideas as soon as he suggested it, so thank you very much to him for that.
So, I don't really have a lot to say about this story beyond the fact that I didn't want to do another ghost story (at least, not yet), and I wanted to write something that ended messily. I wanted to write something that wasn't subtle at all. So the humour's about as subtle as a sledgehammer, but I enjoyed writing it and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Oh and I promise I will stop ripping off Jack Ketchum soon. Other stories are under-way but please give me your titles! Thanks for reading.
Hey Jonny, great story as ever. A couple of missing "it"s and so forth in the opening paragraph but nothing to write home about :P. Welcome to the new blog, I suppose!
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